discernment matters more than certainty

Dear Reader,

I want to name something I sense many of you may be feeling right now. A heavy tension. A feeling of being torn about how to show up in the world. Caring deeply about what’s happening in your families, your communities, and beyond while also wanting to lead with integrity, compassion and self-care.

Wondering when to speak, when to act, when to rest. Wanting to contribute without becoming hardened, reactive, or performative. This moment asks a lot of us and it’s not always clear what the “right” way forward looks like.

This reflection has brought me back to something personal. In 2020, like so many people, I hit an edge. I was pushed into the role of fierce advocate for something I cared about deeply, and I felt torn. The identity I had lived in for most of my life was that of peacemaker, not activist.

What surprised me was realizing that advocacy didn’t require me to be something I’m not, but it required me to become more honest. It wasn’t until I was led into mural facilitation that something clicked: creative activism is how I advocate without abandoning myself. It’s how I engage what’s difficult in ways that are truthful, sustainable, and transformative.

That realization reshaped how I understand leadership and is the pillar in my Leadership Beyond the Ladder model called Harmonious work.

It isn’t about tightening your grip or having everything mapped out.
It’s about discernment your ability to sense direction, read yourself, read the room, and respond in real time.

I’ve been reflecting on this a lot as I’ve moved slowly into this year intentionally. I don’t orient myself around January 1st. I follow rhythms that allow for reflection, integration, and completion, often aligned with nature and the lunar new year. This season has asked that of me even more deeply, as I’ve been completing 2025 in some very real ways, including advocating fiercely for my son and our family.

When we lead from force, everything feels heavy.
When we lead from discernment, timing aligns, decisions simplify, and clarity emerges, even without guarantees.

Recently, this understanding of discernment showed up for me in a surprisingly simple way.

As we were planning a holiday trip, Miami came up as one possible stop on the way to somewhere warm. But instead of treating it as a placeholder, I started to feel excited about Miami itself, the colors, the energy. I tuned into what I called the direction of the trip rather than over-planning the details.

Almost immediately, life began responding. Our hotel surprised us with a credit after price-matching a lower rate we’d already booked. A friend I first met years ago in London happened to be in Miami and spent Christmas with us. Family friends texted that they missed us and within hours were on a plane to join us for New Year’s. Even a casual conversation at a rental car counter turned into an unexpected upgrade. I share all of the magic that happened and picture on LinkedIn and IG.

None of this came from control or certainty, it came from paying attention.

What struck me wasn’t the series of “good outcomes,” but the quality of presence that made them possible.

It’s also why I’ve been reflecting on how often people say their word for the year is balance, when what they’re really longing for is harmony.
Balance keeps us managing and correcting. Harmony invites us to listen.

Harmony asks:
What is running me when I make decisions?
For example, what’s the inner pattern leading right now? Is it the people-pleaser, the perfectionist, the over-performer? Btw have you check out my decision matrix where I dive into these archetypes? Harmony asks what signals am I responding to beneath the noise?

This capacity to stay connected to yourself while responding meaningfully to the world is one of the most essential skills of embodied leadership, especially in times like these.

Speaking of harmony, as I look ahead, I want to shape my next workshop around what you are genuinely navigating right now.

Here are my signature workshop topics:

• Mid-Career Clarity
For those questioning direction, identity, or “what’s next” beyond titles and roles

• Ease & Ambition
For high performers who are done sacrificing themselves in order to succeed

• Vocal Empowerment
For leaders who sense deeply but struggle to name, claim, or speak their truth with confidence and struggle with Imposter thoughts.

I’d love to hear from you.
Which one feels most alive for you right now and why? Please just hit reply.

Your responses help me design work that is responsive, honest, and grounded work that supports you to truly lead your way.

With care,