Dear Reader,

I'm back from my vacation to Mexico and Peru and I've shared pieces of this story since returning. Something about it really seemed to resonate.

I think it's because it's not actually a story about Peru.

It's a story about what happens when we trust ourselves before we have proof that we're right.

Twenty-two years ago, I made a decision that changed the trajectory of my life.

I just didn't know it at the time.

I was a relatively new professor, had recently moved to Brooklyn, and for the first time in my life, I had freedom and money.

My cousin and I signed up for an immersive Spanish program in Peru, where we lived with a local family alongside students from around the world.

I was so sheltered, I didn't even know what Machu Picchu was.

I packed skirts and high heels. 😆

Instead, I wore the same jeans and sweater almost every day, took cold showers, froze every night in a cement home with cracked windows and no heat, collected bedbug bites all over my body...

...and I was never happier.

I loved it so much that I asked my cousin if we could extend our trip by one more week.

There was no big reason.

No carefully thought-out plan.

I just wanted to stay.

On the second-to-last day of that extra week, I met a local man who would eventually become my husband and the father of my son.

At the time, dating him didn't make a whole lot of logical sense either.

He didn't speak English.

I didn't speak Spanish.

We practiced different religions.

And we lived on different continents.

Yet something in me knew enough to keep going.

That one extra week eventually led to a marriage, a family, and a lifetime of adventures. We've now traveled to more than 40 countries together.

A few weeks ago, we returned to Peru, 22 years after that first trip.

And I've been thinking about that extra week ever since.

Because it's easy to look backward at a decision that worked out and turn it into a story about trusting yourself.

It's much harder when you're standing in the middle of the decision and don't know how the story ends.

How do you trust yourself when you don't yet have the evidence that you're right?

I've spent much of my life being taught that good decisions come from having enough information, weighing the evidence, and making the logical choice.

And of course, information matters.

Other people's perspectives matter.

Expertise matters.

But I've also learned there is another source of information we aren't taught nearly as much about:

Ourselves.

And most acts of self-trust aren't as dramatic as extending a trip to Peru or dating someone on another continent.

• Sometimes it's sending the email without asking three people to read it first.
• Saying what you actually think in the meeting.
• Setting a boundary even though someone might be disappointed.
• Making a decision without replaying it for the next three days.
• Or realizing that something you've worked incredibly hard for may no longer be what you want.

I've noticed that people describe these experiences very differently.

• Some call it imposter syndrome.
• Some say they lack confidence.
• Some are incredibly confident and accomplished, but find themselves questioning what they actually want now.
• Some know what they want but struggle to give themselves permission to choose it.

They can look like completely different problems.

But I've been wondering whether underneath them is something more fundamental:

Our relationship with our own authority.

Can I hear myself underneath all the noise?

Can I trust what I know without needing everyone else to agree?

Can I make a choice without knowing exactly how it will turn out?

Can I change my mind when something that used to fit no longer does?

Can I support myself through the discomfort that comes with choosing what feels true?

This is a thread I've been following in my own life and in my work for years.

Lately, I've started calling it Inner Authority.

Something I'm Experimenting With

This his fall, I want to experiment with bringing some of this work to you in a more accessible, lower-cost coaching experience.

But rather than disappear, build the whole thing, and then emerge to tell you what I think you need 😆, I want to do something different.

I want to listen first.

So I have one question for you:

Where in your life do you find it hardest to trust yourself?

Please hit reply and tell me

It could be a decision you're trying to make, speaking up, setting a boundary, figuring out what's next, worrying about what other people will think, or something completely different.

One sentence is plenty.

I'm genuinely curious and you are not signing up for anything, just really helping me.

And I'll share more soon about what I'm discovering and what I'm creating from it.

And because apparently Peru wasn't quite finished with the lesson...

On the last day of our stay in Cusco, I finally looked up and noticed the sign that had been hanging above our bed the entire time:

“When nothing is certain, all is possible.”

Talk about what I like to call a Goddess Wink. 😉

Maybe that's the invitation.

Not to become certain. To trust ourselves enough to move without it.

Here's to more self-trust,

P.S. I really do want to hear from you. Just hit reply and tell me: Where is it hardest for you to trust yourself right now?

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